Weather Update And A Joke

[kuda]

Today is the coldest day in twenty years in Texas.
Where I live it didn't get to 20 degrees today.
Snow forecast for early Friday morning.
They claim it won't be icy, but fluffy snow.
Dang it!  I live in Texas because I hate cold weather.




SARAH PALIN:  The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA:  The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! 
                                 The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN:  My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
                             recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue
                             with all the chickens on the other side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON:  When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.
                                 This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that
                                 every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.
                                 But then, this really isn't about me.



GEORGE W. BUSH:  We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
                                  if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.  The chicken is either against
                                  us, or for us.  There is no middle ground here.


DICK CHENEY:  Where's my gun?


COLIN POWELL:  To the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
                            of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON:  I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE:  I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY:  Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
                         It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions.
                        I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON:  Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


OPRAH:  Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants
               to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
               and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so
               that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN:  To steal the job of a decent, hard working American.

MARTHA STEWART:  No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
                                   I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
                                   the price dropped to a certain level.  No little bird gave me any insider info.

DR SEUSS:  Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
                   Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die in the rain, alone.


ALBERT EINSTEIN:  Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
                                 move beneath the chicken?


COLONEL SANDERS:  Did I miss one?


GRANDPA:  In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
                    Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

Comments

[edenskye.livejournal.com]

giggles.

The chicken jokes were cute. true and cute.

As for the cold weather, I am hating it.

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, weather right now is not fun. Robert is taking me to work today. Car still not fixed. Garland is where the electric blackout started so they may not have been able to work on it.

I needed a laugh so that silly chicken joke helped.

[strikske.livejournal.com]

Those jokes are funny *gg*. Just the thing I need to start my day.

Sending you warm thoughts to keep the cold out.

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

Is cold here so warm thoughts help. Thanks.

[lifefailsme.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the cold, but this post had me laughing out loud, to the ones I knew the name of... Like Palin.... *shudder*

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

Palin scares me. More than the ice even.

[ssddgr.livejournal.com]

Although I laughed with all of them, I couldn't stop giggling at this:

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

I didn't know if all of these people would make sense to those outside of the States. They are quite a mixed bunch. Glad I could give you a giggle.

[debris4spike]

All great - although one or two of the USA polititians took some thinking about .... but those last 3 were totally brilliant!

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

Do you have Kentucky Fried Chicken where you live? Wasn't sure if you would know who the Col. was.

[debris4spike]

Yes, he flew over here in the early 80's ... not that I ver go! If I "fast food" it's either Pizza or McD's

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

I really don't care for KFC. I seldom go there. I would rather have barbecue or Mexican. We order in pizza once in a while. McD's, I might go for a breakfast sandwich if out and about.

hey kuda

[piggy1.livejournal.com]

didn't know you got the freeze over there too. Girl we're still trying to recover over here from that crazy snow storm that got us good. The weather messed with my internet and my satalite, Not fun bieng cut off from the world, hehehe. hugs piggy.

Re: hey kuda

[kudagirl.livejournal.com]

We had snow and ice from last Tues till Sun morning. Early this morning it began raining and is now starting to freeze around us. Our wind chill last week was below zero. So not TX weather. Last Wed we had rolling black outs. No electricity several times where Tommy lives. We got lucky and didn't lose power where I am.